A Pig For Christmas?: God Made Pigs Unholy and Making Bacon Sinful
Posted: Sunday, December 04, 2011
by Paul Schroeder
alien / demonic attachment
A Pig For Christmas?: God Made Pigs Unholy and Making Bacon Sinful!
My ribald experiences over the years with pigs, force me to state that they are far smarter than dogs; they quickly learn how to open gates and doors that impede them, an ability beyond most dogs.
They quickly acquire a fuller understanding of our language where dogs recall isolated spoken 'trigger' words.
Deprived of water to wallow in by ignorant owners, in desperation , they wallow in their own urine and wet feces to cool off and thus the smelly, stinky reputation.
Given a small water wallow they remain as clean and fragrant as a rose.
Pigs have no functional sweat glands.
Water or mud keeps them cool in hot weather, but
pigs do not prefer to sit in mud.
They prefer cleanliness very much more than other animals and thus mud used only as a coolant in summers, is merely out of necessity.
Mud gives pigs protection against flies and parasites, and as a form of sunscreen, which protects their skin from sunburn.
Amongst farm animals, their intelligence is unsurpassed.
I have often surmised that pigs surely have penned parts of the Bible; they have convinced the fundamentally religious, half of the World, not to eat them!
Only magpies, chimpanzees, dolphins, whales, and elephants are known to be smarter than pigs.
But why would the Bible prohibit the eating of pig flesh?
The University of Manchester in England performed tests on mummies retrieved from Egypt and discovered that some had died from Trichinosis.
Most doctors, regardless of their religious convictions will freely admit that of all the meats we eat, pork is the most detrimental.
Firstly, it takes the longest to digest and has the highest salt content.
Secondly, if one takes a thin sample of raw pork on a slide for a microscope, and looks at it one will see that it is swarming with living vermin – all kinds of creatures and critters and bacteria and parasites, by far the dirtiest of meats!
From the moment that a pig is slaughtered in slaughterhouses until it gets to market, nothing is done to clean or to sterilize or to kill the worms or bacteria.
Thus, the U.S.
“No man should be allowed to be president who does not understand pigs, or hasn't been around a manure pile." Harry S Truman”
prints leaflets telling people to cook it thoroughly to kill all of the trichina larvae.
When the God of the Old Testament demands that pigs are an abomination, not to be eaten, He knew what He was talking about!
I deduce that Reptilian aliens masquerading as God were very scientifically informed and as such formally decreed:
Isaiah 66, verse 15-6 :
“For behold, the Lord will come with fire, and with His chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
For by fire and by his sword will the Lord plead with all flesh: and the slain of the Lord shall be many.
They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine’s flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the Lord.” [King James Version].
God puts rats and mice and pigs in the same category, stating not to bring unclean animals into the Temple as an offering.
Elsewhere in the Bible are more piggy
prohibitions:
Leviticus 11:7-8
"And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven footed, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you. Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they [are] unclean to you."
And from Deuteronomy 14:8:
"And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it [is] unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase."
(Aliens, very far from divine, imposed "dietary rules" to their 'chosen' (DNA spliced) people, with circumcision ordered, as a type of animal 'branding'; if masquerading, technologically adept beings believed that they could easily imposter a demanding, "jealous God", they were most correct, and
have surely fooled the whole world, to this day..)
What else should you glean about these unholy piggy creations?
.
Left to their own very apt devices, pigs in the wild will eat leaves and grasses, roots, fruits, flowers, dead insects, worms, tree bark and especially rotting carcasses.
Pigs, like dogs, live to an average age of 9 to 15 years, but breed early, with the
age of maturity in females at 8 to 18 months, and in
males, at 8 to 10 months.
Litters of offspring usually range from 6 to 12 piglets.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes and for those who long to be such pigs, that's enough said, about that.
Ticks and fleas avoid pigs because pigs’ skin is much too thick to be easily bitten.
They are the cleanest of animals.
Pigs have a well developed sense of smell and can easily find things deep underground.
Average pig owning citizens as well as animal experts regard pigs as more trainable than dogs or cats.
Pigs can be enormous;
the largest pig bred, named ‘Big Bill’, weighed in at 2,552 lbs with a height of 5 feet and a length of 9 feet.
Pig farms are
usually intensive farms where pigs are reared in squalor and fear; they stand over the same excrement for a month, barely able to move, with their illnesses overlooked by ignorant workers.
The screams of frightened pigs in slaughterhouses can measure 115 decibels, higher than the ascent noise of a jet engine, at 113 decibels.
Although pigs have four toes on each hoof, they walk on only two of the toes which appears to make them look as if they were tiptoeing.
A fully grown pig will drink up to 14 gallons of water a day.
A pig's tongue has six thousand fewer taste buds than a human's. People have 15,000, while pigs only have 9,000.
Pigs and pale-colored horses are the only mammals besides people that get sunburned.
. If a pig were able to fly, other pigs would surely be unable to see him as Pigs are incapable of looking up.
According to Professor Donald Broom of the Cambridge University Veterinary School:
"Pigs snuggle close to one another and prefer to sleep nose to nose.
They dream, much as humans do. In their natural surroundings, pigs spend hours playing, sunbathing, and exploring.
People who run animal sanctuaries for farmed animals often report that pigs, like humans, enjoy listening to music, playing with soccer balls, and getting massages.
Pigs communicate constantly with one another; more than 20 vocalizations have been identified that pigs use in different situations, from wooing mates to saying, "I'm hungry!"
He states that newborn piglets learn to run to their mothers' voices and to recognize their own names.
Mother pigs sing to their young while nursing.
Professor Stanley Curtis of Penn State University has found that," pigs can play joystick-controlled video games and are "capable of abstract representation."
Dr. Curtis believes that "there is much more going on in terms of thinking and observing by these pigs than we would ever have guessed."
He goes on to state,
"Pigs do not "eat like pigs" or "pig out." They prefer to eat slowly and savor their food. "
One researcher developed a shower for her pigs, and they learned to turn it on and off by themselves.
Within the text, "The Whole Hog", biologist ,Zoo director Lyall Watson wrote,
"I know of no other animals [who] are more consistently curious, more willing to explore new experiences, more ready to meet the world with open mouthed enthusiasm. Pigs, I have discovered, are incurable optimists and get a big kick out of just being."
"No man should be allowed to be president who does not understand pigs, or hasn't been around a manure pile."
Harry S Truman
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More commentsLove it, Paul. Especially the Truman quote!Please log in to respond to this comment.Your article about "pigs" inspired this article and I must thank you for being fodder, for my piggy mind.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Paul, son, I've told you and told you that the pork meat was forbidden only for you Jews. It was not forbidden under the Patriarchal age or the Christian age. You are missing some mighty good meat boy. Good old Oscar Meyer bacon and an egg or two for breakfast along with some "Dunkin Donut" coffee. Man!Please log in to respond to this comment.It's impossible to believe that the uncompromising, demanding "GOD" of the Jewish Book of fairytales, would permit ya'll to stint, to 'slide' on "HIS" commandment, against unclean pigs, based on a distillation of later contrived 'exemptions,' under "Patriarchal age or the Christian age".
Pigs were unequivocally forbidden to all of his "chosen people", which you are surely one of.
The law is the law and no Christian 'Patriarchal ' attorney can excuse you.Please log in to respond to this comment.You need to read more Bible and less green men Paul. Do me a favor and read Jeremiah 31:31 and following verses. Then tell me what God meant about a new covenant. Jeremiah was no Patriarchal attorney. He was a prophet under the Mosiacal law and trying hard to explain some things. And no one except the Jews were God's chosen people to furnish the lineage to Christ...which is the only thing he chose them for. He let their enemies destroy them just as he does anyone else who does not obey him.Please log in to respond to this comment.They wandered for forty years, until a brand new bred generation was extant; little green men micromanaged ancient Jews'genetic alterations, for breeding.
The Bible is pure Grimms;
I love you, nonetheless for your fervor to unravel and reveal God; I, too, love God, but that horrid Bible isn't truthful, sensible or accurate about God's nature.
Jeremiah postulated wrongly in that he was really a bullfrog; like you, he was a good friend of mine.....
Please log in to respond to this comment.That's where religious logic dissipates.
It wasn't "God", but philosophizing Neo-Christians who dictated and resolved this weird "new covenant"; I submit that a "covenant"'adjusted', must indeed originate only from "God" and not from firebrand followers, however 'devout'......Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Paul.
I do not eat pigs. I have not eaten anything piggy in a very long time. I've never considered it to be a healthy meat to eat.
That aside, I have come to know and love a very sweet "little" pot-bellied pig. He has an "oink" he uses in greeting me and another when he thinks I'm finally bringing him his carrots. He has a special happy noise for when the expected carrot turns out to be an apple. He has a kiddy wading pool for the summer and a nice house with a bed and a heavy door flap for the winter. He does not like mud or snow and so I have to feed him at his doorstep when the weather is wet. He is very, very smart and has a phenomenal memory. I had no idea I could love a pig so much until I met him and he really changed my ideas about what it means to be a pig.
I loved your article. I hope it helps to foster a greater appreciation of pigs!
Hugs,
DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.I would surely welcome the precise same creature comforts afforded to your pig!
Thanks for the encouragement: when I try my hand at pedestrian topics and word salads other than demonics and sinister aliens, it's more than risky.
Affection,
Paul
Please log in to respond to this comment.Oh, I don't think so at all. You are a very fine writer and bring skill and wit to whatever you write.Please log in to respond to this comment.See me, after class!!Please log in to respond to this comment.How did you acquire him?Please log in to respond to this comment.Sadly, he is not my pig except by proxy. He belongs to the daughter of the woman who owns the horse that I mainly ride. Along with the pig, she also owns two of the seven horses who live at that ranch. Besides the seven horses and the pig there are three dogs, two cats and two desert box tortoises.
I go out there twice a week to groom the horses and clean the stalls, play with the dogs, talk to the pig and give treats to the cats. The tortoises live in the house. Weather permitting, I'll ride one or two of the horses. The woman and the daughter both work full time and don't have enough time to give them all the attention they deserve, so it's a win-win situation.Please log in to respond to this comment.Mark Twain said, 'Don't wrestle with pigs; you both get dirty and the pig like it!", which I interpret as a warning about arguing with pig- headed people.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Cats look down at you dogs look up at you. I like pigs they treat you as equals" Winston ChurchillPlease log in to respond to this comment.David, the equanimity of pigs, to see us as equals, is something I have been unsuccessfully struggling to achieve with alien inter dimensional beings; we are viewed as non sentient, by them, comparable to pigs.
As I elevate pigs' status, so may our status be raised...
I shall never eat pork, again.Please log in to respond to this comment.
As the cow on the billboard once said, "eat more chick'n.":-)
Please log in to respond to this comment.That's the cow with a Junior College education, I referred to!
Chickens suffer equally, comparably, as do pigs, as an item on our menu.
Thanks much, Dave.
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Only you, Paul could have done this piece justice. GRINPlease log in to respond to this comment.I shall take your "Grin", and raise you a hamhock!
Glad that you're in the clear, medically; I am up on canes taking baby steps in great pain, but OUT of a wheelchair....
Your prayers and others' prayers have surely worked and I am grateful..
Yours in Christ,
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Great, just great. You've ruined tonights dinner, thank you very much. I don't know why, but I have a little collection of pigs tucked away in our crawlspace somewhere. I think someone, somewhere bought me one and from that point on people thought I was 'into' pigs.' I was going to ask whatever possessed you to write this but I see by the comments it was Bruce who inspired this. Always interesting Paul. :)Please log in to respond to this comment.I welcome and challenge you to similarly 'possess' me, to inspire me, with fervor to write something else....
I, too, find your exploits, "always interesting"....
Affection,
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.I have written 'something else', several times, just haven't published it yet. You'll be the first to know ... :)Please log in to respond to this comment.Thank you for sending me updates about your experiences; your life is simply most blessed.
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.How's your sleeplessness; do you walk around in a dreamlike otherworldly state of sonumbulism?Please log in to respond to this comment.
Arabs and Jews the dry country religions made pigs taboo because they compete for drinking water. Pigs are great in jungle. Has nothing to do with what most people think.Please log in to respond to this comment.Most taboos have a strange core belief; I wonder if an article on universal cultural "taboos" might follow, from your apt statement.
Thanks!
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.WOW," the dry country religions " had so many crop failures over millenia, it's no wonder that mothers wanted their sons to become doctors rather than farmers!Please log in to respond to this comment.Now you are hitting on it. The Arabs aren't farmers either. I wrote about "dates" a couple weeks ago, and you can read about the Date farms that were 7 miles wide and went up and down the Jordan Valley. But alas, you are right. You just can't set up an "English garden" in the Middle East. So, when you are living and working in a desert region and you are "hatching" your religion, you definitely make anti-consumption rules against pigs - because if you did not say "God hates them, don't eat them", people would start eating them to the detriment of the entire community. The guy with the biggest pig outfit would control all of the potable water, and the "little people" couldn't even drink.
It's a college class that doesn't exist but should: "How economic conditions have dictated religious taboo and belief."
You get more mileage out of your comment section that anyone I know. You are handsome and engaging. That's why.Please log in to respond to this comment.Perhaps it's my innate humor; I recall sitting at a Christmas table with a woman opposite me whose sweater blinked tiny lights off and on, constantly; I don't know how it worked, but after three glasses of wine, I wanted to unplug her!Please log in to respond to this comment.One man cannot call another man handsome without proffering a ring.Please log in to respond to this comment.
What an amazing article, Paul! All this stuff about pigs that I didn't know. I think you've got a ton of great metaphors in here and some very sensible explanations of Biblical stuff. I didn't know about all the worms and bacteria in the meat - yuck! Alas for me, I love bacon, so I guess I'll just always make sure I cook it properly...Please log in to respond to this comment.It's always wonderful to hear from you.
I have the uncanny ability to sadly sometimes upset you.
To my mind, a woman is only as attractive as she is interesting and you are often Miss World, to my mind's beauty pageant of ideas.
Thank you for encouragement and commenting!
Much affection,
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.I too, love crispy bacon, but pigs are simply too smart to eat!Please log in to respond to this comment.
I learned a ton about pigs here. I just got finished eating more ham than any human should have eaten during our Christmas meals and I feel guilty about it. But I have tons of left-overs so tomorrow I'll feel guilty again. But seriously, I have heard some facts about pigs and their level of intelligence before, but I did not know about all the other very interesting facts you note. I wish I could become a vegetarian--I've been thinking about it the last year or so and I may give it a shot soon. Thanks for the great info............Please log in to respond to this comment.I think that the only chance mankind has for survival is to become vegetarians.Please log in to respond to this comment.You're a buddy and I thank you!Please log in to respond to this comment.
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